Today, I want to chat with you about something that many of us encounter in our daily lives: dealing with individuals who refuse to be challenged, stood up to, debated, questioned, and reasoned with. These are the people who show bully-like ways but at the same time, hate to be confronted, and take offense when you disagree. Simply revealing an inability to consider, respect or acknowledge face value. Have you dealt with anyone who close their minds to alternative options and opinions, and who become defensive and throw things out of proportion when faced with disagreement? Here are a few examples to put things in proper context:
Imagine trying to make it out of a forest with someone who refuses to acknowledge the existence of trees. It’s like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces, or trying to build a bridge with no foundation. Dealing with such individuals can feel like hitting a brick wall – frustrating, exhausting, and ultimately unproductive.
Dealing with someone who refuses to be corrected, stood up to, debated, questioned, or reasoned with is like trying to build a bridge with someone who refuses to lay down a single brick. It’s like attempting to paint a masterpiece with someone who refuses to pick up a brush. Or dealing with someone who refuses to be challenged is like trying to make it through a maze with someone who insists on closing their eyes. It’s like trying to have a meaningful conversation with someone who covers their ears and shouts, “La-la-la!” Smh…Temper tantrums, my Big Mama would call them.
So in these type of situations, I have learned it’s important to remember that everyone has their own perspectives and beliefs, and sometimes those perspectives clash. Here are some tips on how I would troubleshoot and overcome such personalities in everyday encounters:
So, how do I try to handle these tough times? How do I try to overcome the automatic pilot in us all and emotional reactions by people that’s already on the defensive and simply do not realize they are being a bully and putting me in a situation where I could react negatively, creating a crazy cycle? The power of Unconscious… Bias…
Before anything, pray:
“Dear Most High, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Help me approach difficult conversations with grace and understanding, and guide me in navigating challenging interactions with compassion and patience when situations bring out the bully in people. Amen.”
First and foremost, it’s important for me to approach these situations with love and understanding, the best I can. I’m learning to recognize that everyone has their own perspectives and beliefs, shaped by their unique experiences and backgrounds. Try to understand where the other person is coming from, even if you disagree with them.
Secondly, I’m choosing my battles wisely. Not every disagreement needs to be turned into a full-blown argument. I’m realizing I need to prioritize what issues are worth addressing and what can be let go.
Thirdly, practice active listening. Truly listen to what the other person is saying, without interrupting or dismissing their thoughts. This is one thing many know that I struggle with myself. I had to also realize I need to reflect back to their points to show that I understand and respect their perspective.
Additionally, it’s important to stay cool and grounded, even in the face of hostility. I admit this is is tough. Responding with anger or frustration will only make it worse, and make it harder to fix, if even possible.
One thing I do naturally is look for any positive common ground where possible. Look for areas of agreement or positive vibes that can serve as a foundation for constructive conversation. Finding common ground is like finding the tune or harmony, it can help to ease tensions and open up avenues for meaningful conversation, like the many opportunities available at MyOfficeInTheStreets.com 😄
And finally, I finally now know when to disengage. If the other person becomes overly aggressive or unwilling to engage in a productive manner, it’s okay to step back and take a break. Protect your own peace, mental and emotional well-being.
In hindsight, dealing with individuals who refuse to be stood up to can be a tough job. However, by approaching these encounters as a Loveshooter with heart and empathy, choosing our battles wisely, practicing active listening, staying cool and composed, looking for common ground, truth and justice, and knowing when to disengage as a Troubleshooter, we can love our way through these situations more easily and hopefully find some peace of mind and simply put, old fashioned decency.
We can troubleshoot our differences, find a way through,
And get past all of this together, me and you.
Standing up to a personality or spirit that refuses to be challenged or checked, bringing out the bully in them, means asserting yourself and your beliefs while maintaining respect and love. This is The Art Of A Troubleshooter. It involves advocating for your perspective and principles in a firm yet constructive manner. I realize this is hard for anyone. Ok, Here’s how I see it:
• Assertiveness: Clearly express your thoughts and opinions without being aggressive or confrontational. Use “I” statements to communicate how you feel and what you believe, rather than attacking the other person.
• Confidence: Mean what you say sharing your perspective and stand firm in your convictions. Confidence in your beliefs will make it easier to deal with difficult conversations and remain resilient in the face of denial and the unreasonable.
• Active Listening: Listen from your heart to the other person’s viewpoint, even if you disagree with it. Show that you value and appreciate their perspective by acknowledging their thoughts and feelings, which can help create a more open and respectful vibe.
• Respect: Treat the other person with respect, even if they are defensive or tripping😶. Avoid personal attacks or trying to bring them down, and focus on addressing the issue at hand in a constructive manner.
• Setting Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for what behavior you will tolerate and what is unacceptable. Communicate these boundaries calmly and assertively, and be prepared to enforce them if necessary. Period.
• Troubleshooting | Shopping Solutions: Focus on finding solutions or compromises that address both parties’ concerns as a Troubleshooter. Instead of dwelling on differences or conflicts, work together to identify common goals and mutually beneficial outcomes.
• Emotional Regulation: Manage your own emotions and reactions during interactions with this personality type. Stay cool and relaxed, even if the other person becomes defensive or hostile, this is The Heart Of A Loveshooter. This is one of the hardest things for many to do. Responding with patience and understanding can help curb tensions and encourage a more solid connection and communication.
Overall, standing up to this personality type requires a combination of assertiveness, love, and resilience, which is a blend of a Troubleshooter and a Loveshooter. By maintaining respect for yourself and the other person, actively listening, and searching for constructive solutions, you can get through tough conversations and situations and come out with better positive outcomes.
Once, in the late seventies, in a neighborhood called Powderlina, there roamed a talented artist renowned for his groovy, intricate paintings. One day, a young boy approached him, holding a simple sketch. The boy hesitantly shared his drawing, feeling inadequate compared to the artist’s masterpieces. Instead of dismissing the sketch, the artist gently praised the boy’s effort and creativity, recognizing the potential within the simple lines. He encouraged the boy to continue practicing, assuring him that every stroke mattered and that greatness could emerge from even the smallest beginnings. Inspired by the artist’s kindness, the boy returned home to his NaNa with renewed determination, embracing his journey of growth with hope and confidence.
Dear Most High
Grant us the wisdom to see beyond outward appearances and recognize Your God-Given worth within each individual. Help us approach those who feel helpless, untalented or unqualified with love and compassion, understanding that everyone has their own unique strengths and struggles. I pray we show support and encouragement, encouraging an environment of growth and acceptance. Guide us in finding common ground and building bridges of understanding, even in moments of disagreement. Grant us the patience and perseverance to think through and get peace in hard conversations and emotional situations with grace and humility. Amen.
Embrace the journey, trust the process, and let go of the outcome.
